18 Moses said, “Please show me your glory.”19 And he said, “I will make all my goodness pass before you and will proclaim before you my name ‘The Lord.’ And I will be gracious to whom I will be gracious, and will show mercy on whom I will show mercy.20 But,” he said, “you cannot see my face, for man shall not see me and live.”21 And the Lord said, “Behold, there is a place by me where you shall stand on the rock,22 and while my glory passes by I will put you in a cleft of the rock, and I will cover you with my hand until I have passed by.23 Then I will take away my hand, and you shall see my back, but my face shall not be seen.” – Exodus 33:12-23
I can relate to Moses. Here’s a guy that goes into a tent, has a conversation with God, gets some direction and then when he walks out, he’s immediately doubting what he heard. It’s like all of the confidence leaves him when he walks out of the presence of God. Granted, he had a lot of reasons to want to be extra sure of his calling. In fact he had about 2-3 million reasons because that’s a rough estimate of how many people he was leading. So he challenged God and said, I’m not doing this if you don’t give me some evidence of your presence in our midst (keep in mind, he is in the middle of a 2-way conversation with God when he makes this demand). If you read the entire passage, starting with about verse 12, you’ll see that Moses was worried because he wasn’t sure who was going to help him or how he was going to lead all of these people to their destination, so he basically demands that God give him more evidence and details before he signs up for the mission.
This makes me feel normal. I find myself doing the exact same thing. I’ll have a moment or moments in my life where I feel like I’ve heard from God so clearly, but when it’s time to take action and get down to obedience, I always second guess myself because there isn’t any proof in the moment that God will actually be on the other side of my obedience. This has never been more true for me than with planting iChurch. Every step seems so clear and yet so uncertain at the same time. It’s like I have total clarity and confidence, to make that important call, setup that important meeting, make that big announcement, make that big ask but when I’m ready to do it, I start to doubt because I don’t know what’s on the other side of my obedience. I think things like: What if they say no?, what if I they don’t call me back?, what if it doesn’t work out, what if I misunderstood God?
All Moses wanted was for God to be right with him every step of the way, but God said no. What God said, was you can’t see my face, but you can follow my back. God was teaching Moses that if he would just lead the people forward, they would walk into every uncertain moment and see that God had preceded them.
We’re young in the days of launching iChurch. Some of our biggest challenges (steps of faith) are still ahead of us. But already, I’m learning this principle that God taught Moses. My job is to move forward. God’s job is to prepare the way. Take for example, the launch team that God has started to assemble. Many of them have said that they felt God stirring them change or to help start something new a few years ago (not coincidentally, that’s when we first sensed God calling us to plant a church). Yet when we announced we were starting the church, we didn’t know for certain that anyone was going to come along to help! Or there is that time when Alicia and I were in a church service and there was a guest worship leader and I leaned over and said to her “this guy is great. He just set the bar for the type of worship leader I want at iChurch.” Then a few months later after obeying what I thought was God leading me to ask, that very “guy” felt like God was calling him to help us launch iChurch and lead worship.
Those are just two examples and I know we’re not on the other side of some the biggest challenges that we’ll face. So I’m not pretending to be some hero or role model for you. I don’t have this all figured out, sometimes I’m wrong, and I don’t always instantly obey what I feel like God is leading me to do. But I’m trying. And I hope that encourages you to try also. Because let’s face it, if you’re going to follow God you’re never going to be on the other side of having to trust him. The point is that God doesn’t give you everything you need in the moment you want it. But if He calls you to do something, then He does promise to be ahead of you working in situations so that you have everything you need when you need it. I’m learning to love stepping out in faith and trusting that He is working ahead so that everything will be in place when I need it. I’m calling these “Sticky Note” moments because that’s what they feel like to me. They feel like a sticky note left by God that says “I was here, and now I’m on to the next thing.” I’m actually going to start to write these moments on real Post-It notes and save them in a folder. Someday soon I’m sure I’ll need to remind myself of all of the previous sticky notes so that I’ll have enough faith to step into the next thing God leads me to do. I’d encourage you to do the same!